My friend, Anita, makes these amazing apple pies. No one really knows how she does it, but they really are the best. I’m not sure she exactly knows how it happens because it’s just magic in her kitchen. She combines several recipes to achieve the apple perfection. Her husband gets one every birthday, and Chris has snuck in a few requests on his birthday over the years. One Christmas, she brought her pie for a gift swap and it got ugly really quick! Adults fighting over pie!
A while back, I was a little stuck in life and really just feeling sorry for myself. Self pity is not a good look. God reminded me of Anita’s pie: How she puts in the best ingredients, takes pleasure in the process and is so generous to offer her apple heaven to her friends and family. I think God is a really good pie maker too. While lost in pie thoughts, I realized I was living like the pie was going to run out! Apparently, I believed that God had this heavenly pie in the sky with limited pieces, and I had better make sure I got a slice!
Ugh, when you live like this, like the pie is running out, you live scared. You live frustrated and bitter, but mostly scared. Scared you will blow it, always watching others slices, worried about the security of your slice or afraid you may get no slice at all.
A friend once prayed for me and told me I was struggling with an “orphan spirit.” What the heck did that mean? Well, it meant that I was living like the pie was going to run out. Like I had to race and scramble for my seat at the table and then fight for my slice. She was right and all these years living like an orphan had taken its toll. It wears you thin, and makes you tired, and anxious.
God has been showing me lately that I don’t really trust him or his word. Gut punch! Like really believe it deep down, way into my bones, like know that it’s true, always true, and it’s for me. Because if I really, truly, deeply trusted Him and believed his word, I would know his pie never runs out. After all these years of following him, it’s painful to admit that I missed this. That I missed the truth that there is always a seat for me at the table, and the offerings are plentiful and beautiful and custom designed just for me. And for you! You might not even like apple pie. That’s okay, because he’s got your favorite chocolate cake at your seat!
Today I was reading in John 14 and these three verses struck me:
Vs 1 – Do not be troubled. You trust God, now trust me.
Vs 2 -There is plenty of room for you in my Father’s home.
Vs 31- Get up. Let’s go. It’s time to leave here.
God has been ministering to me all morning from these verses. He is saying, “So, Kimberly, do you trust me? Do you trust my word is true? That there is plenty of room for you? That there is more than enough for you and all my children? That the pie won’t run out? Get up, sweet girl, let’s go and leave this orphan state! You are a child of the king and it’s time to leave here! We have things to do!”
Oh, friends, these are good words from the Father! They bring such rest! He has pie for us all! We don’t have to live as orphans, we can run knowing he is good and has more than enough for his precious children!
“No, I will not abandon you as orphans-I will come to you!” John 14:18